How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
