I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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