either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize