lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
