I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
