Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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