Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
id be glad to
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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