Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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