I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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