he puts the penis in happiness.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So much Jack, so little girl.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
