So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
