Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
