this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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