Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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