My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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