"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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