You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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