I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
