if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize