i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
