Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize