I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
