if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
