I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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