I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize