we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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