Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
