Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
it glows. i had to have it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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