I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize