dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
