I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
