I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
