therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
