Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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