Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
