I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
