well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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