I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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