There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
