Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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