So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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