Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
