i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
