ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
