i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize