She's JV to your varsity
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
