I just made out with a guy for $7.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
