i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
