One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
