OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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