I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
