I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
