Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
