in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize