I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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