I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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