he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
