My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize