I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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