I wanna passion pit in your ass
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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