Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
